Family Therapy
Is Your Family Failing To Communicate Effectively?
Does your family struggle with ongoing conflict and misunderstandings? Even though you are now an adult, does your relationship with your parents remain stuck in the past? Would you like to ease the tension, restore harmony, and ensure everyone in your family feels seen, heard, and understood?
Although having a close-knit family is a blessing, in some ways, it can be a curse. Because you are so close with your family members—perhaps you even live under the same roof with them—you may find that boundaries frequently get crossed. When conflicts arise, you may have to become the peacemaker to keep arguments from escalating. Or perhaps you are the scapegoat who gets blamed for everything that goes wrong. In either scenario, being stuck in a role you do not want to play could cause unwanted anxiety and frustration.
Family Priorities May Get Blurred
As much as you want to prioritize the family you have built with your partner, a lack of boundaries with parents or other family members could prevent you from asserting your autonomy. For example, if parents or in-laws have remained reliant on you or your partner to care for their needs, it could be causing tension in your marriage. Understandably, you may feel pulled in opposing directions and struggle to navigate family priorities.
Perhaps your attempts to find your voice and discuss concerns with your extended family have been brushed aside, or worse, completely disregarded. Your parents or in-laws may believe they are still entitled to the same amount of access to your life as when you and your partner were children. However, for the sake of keeping your relationship intact, you realize the dynamic needs to change.
If your family experiences conflict you can’t resolve, therapy offers hope. The good news is communication therapy for families can help you build empathy, reach consensus, and find a new path forward.
Many Families Face A Clash Of Generational And Cultural Values
For South Asian families who settle in America, the adjustment of being born and raised in a different culture is significant. First-generation families who emigrated with young children or waited until they were settled here before having kids experience a learning curve together. Both generations must adjust to living in the new culture at the same time. Not surprisingly, clashes surrounding differing cultural values commonly arise.
For example, in many South Asian cultures, we are taught to respect our elders. Because saying no to a parent is considered disrespectful, as children, we feel obligated to comply with whatever they ask of us. However, when we become adults, and parental demands begin to interfere with the relationships we have developed with our partners and our own children, the family dynamic becomes complicated.
A Lack Of Education About Mental Health Persists
Unfortunately, beliefs surrounding mental health vary both culturally and generationally. Some family members may not understand what the role of a therapist is or think that seeking outside help is not necessary. They may wonder why they should talk to a stranger about their problems. However, understanding the importance of mental health and being open to therapy is key to improving family dynamics.
Receiving psychoeducation that explains the importance of healthy boundaries within multigenerational families can help you foster better relationships with everyone you love. Whether you are a married couple living with parents, a blended family struggling to adjust, or a family in crisis, counseling can help.
Family Therapy Offers A Forum Where Every Voice Will Be Heard
If we think of the family as a system, we realize that each member plays a part and contributes to something bigger. Working from the premise that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, the aim of family counseling for adults will not only be to foster healthier communication between each member but also ensure that everyone is heard without fear of judgment, shame, or recrimination.
In family therapy, our focus is on providing support rather than resolving conflicts. Instead of assigning blame, we create a space for each member to express their perspective without fear of being silenced. By embracing diverse viewpoints, you can learn to support each other with empathy and understanding, even when you don't see eye to eye on everything.
What To Expect In Sessions
Each online session will be attended by all participating family members. Because family therapy is usually initiated by one member who may need to convince other members of its value, initially, we will take the time to make sure everyone understands what therapy is and why they have been asked to participate. To help normalize the experience, I will educate members who are unfamiliar with therapy about the importance of attending to mental health concerns.
As a counselor with roots in the South Asian community, I have firsthand knowledge of the multigenerational and multicultural issues that may impact your family dynamic. I will take the time to build rapport with each of you to ensure everyone feels comfortable sharing their concerns and being vulnerable with each other. Each member will get the opportunity to describe their experiences with each family relationship before we begin to work toward the goals that brought you to therapy.
Family Psychotherapy Can Help Restore Harmony
In family therapy for adults, we often focus on healthy boundary setting. I will take the time to thoroughly explain what boundaries are, what purpose they serve, and why they are so important in families. Acknowledging that each family member is allowed to have a voice and is not obligated to fulfill every request asked of them may represent a significant paradigm shift for some members. As we explore your family dynamics, we may discover that boundaries have never existed before.
Once we all agree that respecting boundaries is important, we will shift the focus to setting boundaries within the family. This might look like having a parent seek emotional comfort from their partner rather than their child. In this way, we can redefine child and parent relationships within the family that honor the adult child’s autonomy. Throughout therapy, we will emphasize the importance of empathy in the family system and demonstrate healthy ways to communicate that can be implemented at home.
Every family is a wonderfully complicated organism with its own strengths and challenges. While no family will ever be perfect, by building healthier channels of communication, you can offer support to each other in ways you haven’t before. By nurturing a healthier family dynamic, therapy will ensure everyone gets what they need to thrive.
But You May Still Have Questions About Family Therapy…
I’m not sure our family can afford to work with a therapist.
Understandably, you and your family may have concerns about the cost of counseling. However, working closely with a counselor to achieve a healthier family dynamic is an investment you won’t regret making. To offset the expense of family therapy, you can explore your Health Savings Account (HAS) offered by most employers as well as submit for out-of-network reimbursement with your insurance provider.
What if I have family members who are unwilling to attend counseling for adults?
It is not uncommon for some family members to decline attending counseling because they do not see the value in it. Although it can be disappointing when this happens, it shouldn’t prevent you from considering individual therapy to address your concerns. Therapy allows you to grieve the relationship you may wish you had with some loved ones and, perhaps, formulate a different approach to improve the family dynamic that won’t require their participation.
How can we be certain that family conflict therapy will help us?
When seeking family therapy, it’s important to find a therapist everyone trusts and feels comfortable with. Without it being the right fit, you might not achieve the results you desire. As a counselor who works with the South Asian community, I ensure family goals are outlined at the onset of therapy. Once a clear direction is in place, we can then work together to meet those goals. Families must also be willing to do the work outside of sessions to make long-term positive changes.
Having A More Harmonious Home Life Is Within Reach
Allow me to partner with you to help your family improve communication. To get started with family therapy, please visit my contact page.
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